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Sanguinepsychreborn's Journal


Sanguinepsychreborn's Journal

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4 entries this month
 

If it were just a dream

07:24 Apr 23 2024
Times Read: 15


Every painful morning,
Mask wrechedly kisses to face,
Every single scourning,
Has left its mark and place,
Every crooked warning,
I'm left in cornered space,

If only dreams could stay,
Would I choose to not wake,
If forever I could find a way,
Across long lost judgements fake,
If only dreams could stay,
Would I finally find a peace,
I think it's all been a play,
My mind at end will be the feast,

Eagle high in branches screams,
Dragon low on roots it will gnaw,
The little squirrel keeps changing teams,
I feel both the predators claw,
They'll feast on my body as it steams,
As hel embraces my rot her law,
My brain will reabsorb its lesson beams,
Mimir laughs at final straw,

If only dreams could stay,
Will all my images lucid trance,
Could it only linger and fray,
Or in my offspring DNA does dance,
If only dreams could stay,
Does that mean all this was a lie,
If only I could find a way,
But I'll only know when I die,

St Peter is a fools gambit,
And halls forever never stayed,
A darkened land from huddled mass sit,
Seems only useful to living hosts played,
Then what fields do we go in conflict,
What hell sits when we are flayed,
Every angle just a life lit,
On the hope of extra level greyed,

If dreams could only stay,
Why would we wake up for today,
If dreams could only stay,
We would realize it's the same play,
If dreams could only stay,
We would realize our holographic May,
If dreams could only stay,
Then monster creator would prey,
If dreams could only stay,
I would wake up laugh and simply remain...

Sean Stutzman

May all the insomniacs find a world of hypnos even if I can't seem to find it myself tonight.


COMMENTS

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Insomniacs Mandala

09:22 Apr 13 2024
Times Read: 30


Eyes no sleep given,
Eyes shut lights off dark lids dim,
Eyes waver dancing,


Dancing waver eyes,
Dim lids dark off lights shut eyes,
Given sleep no eyes,

Maybe my mind is tricked from lack of dreaming life...

Maybe my memory fails me from over lapping strife...

Would the two implode into a fractal beauty bright...

Or just another hallucination a trick of my mind by light...

If I sleep rest comes,
But never catching up,
I will never see,

If this is a true destiny...
Selfish I can't lead by desire,
But stuck forever I can not be,
Not healthy growing up in ire,

A late night epiphany,
Yet tomorrow's exhaustion I'll loose my power,
I'll succumb to reasoning by hour,
What other time but in the midnight,
Can I truly be the me I fight...

Guess I'm stagnant to go forward,
And yet in quick sand I sink in...

Sean Stutzman


COMMENTS

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Chicken Little soup for the Bowl

20:47 Apr 02 2024
Times Read: 69


Since empirical rise the world is always coming to end,
To the wolf swallowing the sky,
To the moon eating dragon,
Isn't it funny that as more people fly...

We come to the conclusion we are going to die...

True irony is to hear that men under control,
Wemon tied to duty not for new souls,

See life get more complex more fragile in growth,
Yet we never learn that the organization fails from breaking of oath,

That the hittites show such a silly truth,
That when destroying close bonds you loose soothe,

That the treating of armies as engines must end,
That the forward push of the conquerer can't bend,

No it must break,
But a funny thing to see,
That even cults drinking punch,
Monks hurling off cliffs,
Entombing ourselves so forever we live,

Earth is not doomed...
She will simply bounce,
Even if we eradicate life down to the last ounce,
She would still be a planetary orbital mass,
Just like her neighbors devoid made of gas,

So what we are really speaking ofin climate and change,
Is the death of man in his current range,

So chicken look up the sky is falling,
Is just to move children as the animals lay balling,

Greed is a true demon who breaths on men's necks,
As it destroys beings lives and bonds between friends,
But it will be the great irony if it destroyed all the great men,
Something a far greater threat dear religions then controlling sex,

But greed comes from pride,
What early gnostic ghosts and Montanus ride,
That by expecting empire you got yaldabaoth inside...

But we aren't arguing about iron and material,
No that has become standard so going back is unbearable,

Then shouldn't you ask why religions destroyed new growth...
But allowed the nightmare of common folk...

Well think that's because these ideas are stolen too,
Gripped by the many made to abuse...

What once were stories to give hope and soothe,
Became mental wars...
Crusades...
Holding power over truth,

Why do mystics and magicians always reach to the past,
They could create a new structure for their spells to cast,

It's because standards of religion got fixed,
To schools of thought no one escapes transfixed,
The basic holds on life should breath through and save,
Why Lao tzu said even if destroyed the teaching of the Dao would remain,

That the truth of philosopher scientists and friends,
Could be beautiful if we solved problems by making amends,

Is to be kind to each other and allow things to flourish,
Don't critize your neighbor,
Whether country tribe or subdivision,
Lend a hand even if it's nothing large to begin,

But the killing of nations,
The pains of colonization,
Do nothing if people can't feel stable,
Millions of people yet the tribalists are the only who seem able,

To remember each other,
Something I can't say I offer,
I'm just as terrible hiding from the world,
Destrot and hurt I lick wounds unfurled,

Neighbors in pain we have trouble offering help,
Unless to gain favor in public eye praised on reddit or yelp,

That is not true virtue,

We should give not recieve,

But alas this is a pipe dream,

How could you ask a world to soon be without borders,
To give up on icons of industry as saviors,

I'm afraid we will be like the cults of the weather,
When the priesthood fails the starving burn them down forever,

And then the next culture like moche onto next,
Not a new idea to let the powerful control our destiny...

But maybe just maybe the people could see that those in charge are powerful because of them,

Don't burn the temples or revolt into craze,
Use the democracy and governments to bridge life back to ground,

To trumpet science to new potential without hoarding control,
For once not to kill for your need of resource,
But work together and use this new net of technology,
To build a world not starving thirsty or in need,
Where neighbors lift up each other as boundaries are not seen,
The one blessing given with us all seeing screens,
To uplift the down trodden,
To not wall out others,
But giving allies true treatment acting like brothers,

This requires to give up on moral high ground,
To make classism a scale still unequal but the bottom doesn't drown,
And not look at those who made mistakes as evil but coerce them to be part of the people,
It won't be perfect no utopia will ever be found,
But if we could democratize robots we could put less people in the ground,
We could free up innovative people who aren't socially clever,


This isn't even a poem just a dream...
How could I even ask that of a world
When I can't even organize my life
I just wish to see human potential not strife
Treat people as equals even in different classes,
And not take advantage of even nature until she backlashes.

I'm chicken little but grown up you see the sky isn't ever falling,
It's how good life is for you and for me...

Maybe one day a lesson from a chicken can move men's feet,
And take on a better narrative like future built on Mr Appleseed....

A stupid man like simple Simon,
Can always have a dream,

I enjoy the tortoise winning,
In modern mentality...

But parables don't help they are used to make holy wars,
So this chicken wishes that apes can swing on vines in the stars...

But then again I am but a mess,
So like the jester I poke fun at the king and cry at home when it does nothing but become jest...

Sean Stutzman


COMMENTS

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The Puppeteers of Confusion

21:50 Apr 01 2024
Times Read: 89


Promises, promises, I'll keep you in mind,
Don't worry I'll help if you fall behind,
I believe in you and what you can do,
I will always be someone to talk to,

But then I'll be who cuts you down,
Displaces your life uproot you from ground,
If you say that my promises were false,
I'll tie to you crazy and drain out your pulse...

Any time to believe I'll treat you a clown,
Hey as long as I keep mine I'll let you rot never found,

Honey please we are equal and try,
I've got your back when the kids will rise,
You hurt I'll take care things,
Your upset let me tell you wonderful things,

But I'll leave stagnant working like worm,
I'll keep you cleaning working no matter your form,
I'll take care things that matter to me,
I'll cut you down for things being normal functioning...

That snakes who pretend to be pretty and nice,
Are the ones who don't bite once,
Not even twice,

They will sit and watch you in pain,
Then tell it was much worse for them today,
They will pick you apart and throw you away,
They can treat you possessed and condemn how you play,

Throw pennies to you while kingdom promising,
Then leave you in the cold with harpies screaming,
They will demand you to be what you don't want,
Then hide away letting you be upfront,

So everyone thinks your loosing your mind,
My mind may be hurt but it's you who are unkind,
You spy on my life and use me as prey,
You hold me up high to get taken away,

Well this is not my first fight,
And I've been sober for years to lock accusations up tight,

I've sat back holding on to hope,
That you will be kind have a new trope,
I've spent every important day,
Being there where I should with simply the same thing to say,

Ironic you can't handle a challenge,
Ironic she can't have a small criticism,

While you both hand me challenges and critics all the time,
Until spinning so much I loose my rhy-space...

Well funny the father rub off in the absolute wrong place,
I'm stuck looking out a trap hoping for grace,
With help only coming from those you spoke poorly,
Calling one a brown noser the other appalling,

But you pick out every little flaw,
Of every child around you and left your wife hurt raw,
The place of a good man would throw away his place,
If it meant those around him find safe space,

I'm on no pedistol I'm terribly flawed,
I'm worthless in school reminded by test,
I'm arrogant without meaning to be,
I'm easily confused,
I'm taken advantage of by blood and by fools,

But you said people should be treated as pawns,
As if it's a lesson not dehumanizing flaw,

You've been sitting in pain for days,
Rub my back,
Clean this house,
How can you think it's OK!

Well I hope you are both happy I tried to be nice,
I sat for years in your avarice,
Until broken and hurt I had no chance,
Yet still your insults belittling and manipulations advanced,

I am in a point of silence for my kids,
I am in a place where the other never gives,
I am threatened that you know every way,
For my to look crazy and with the yelling angry person they'll stay,

Well I've always been looked at as the throw away shoe,
And if your so smart hopefully you can read this my words,
I'm tired of being ripped up and threatened fincial ruin as you put it,

But I'll be damned if you put my daughters through that,
They are not toys in some big brain play,
And im not some crazy monster for you all to slay,

I'll be honest to my doctors every visit,
I'll get back on my feet and there will be movement,

No more brainwashing gaslighting or power plays,
I'm done with it all I'm sick of your games,

I'm well aware you can see these words,
So sadly I wish you were kind not drawing swords,

Being a simple unattractive and poor man,
Is fine with my beliefs and where I stand,

I will not be vindictive,
I will simply find life,
I hope you all enjoy your side,
For I found help not from my people,
But from the fact I've been knocked down until bloody but still I fight on...

People are not puppets they have feelings, cares, and dreams I'm done with the pulling and I'm done with the screams...

Sean Stutzman


COMMENTS

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